Next to road accidents and suicide, Cancer is the third largest killer across the world; and these days, everything causes it. It seems that we cannot step out of our homes for fear of getting too much sun, inhaling second-hand smoke, or even breathing too loud. Even in our own homes, there are a million and one things that cause Cancer. But even for those teetotal non-smokers who don't drink carbonated drinks or greasy food or use mobile phones or own microwaves, have perfect parents who passed on perfect genes, don't vote Republican and use SPF-80 in winter, Cancer may still sneak up on you. Because it just knows. When you least expect it, it might just jump over the garden fence and hack you up with a machete."Surely not!" I hear you cry. "There must be something we can do!"
Well, dear readers. Just you wait.
All across the world, men are sprouting moustaches of all different shapes and sizes in support of Movember. The month formerly known as November is now a thirty-day sponsorship to raise awareness for prostate and testicular cancer, as well as money to be donated to charities that help research the disease and aid those affected by it.
These disturbing thigh-ticklers have sprung up throughout my Sixth Form; two of my close friends, Pedro and JB have grown a set of rather shocking womb-brooms (at the protests of Pedro's girlfriend Audrey). JB sports a blonde, Swedish-paedophile-esque crumb catcher, whilst Pedro's is more caveman-meets-Judaism.
You too could be saving balls all over the world! Make a difference at http://uk.movember.com/ - donate your face; SAVE YOUR NUTS.
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