Minnie Shlipak Martell, 1929-2011

My beloved grandmother lost her battle with Alzheimer's earlier this week. I was not able to fly out for the funeral, so I wrote this to be read out instead of my being there.

Dear Mimi,

 

It is said that one of the most common and most effective ways of dealing with grief is to write a letter to the person you have lost. It is not a letter you send, or even one you keep. There's something therapeutic about just writing it. So here goes. I hope you're listening.

 

I never got a chance to thank you for the things you have done for me. It was you that inspired me musically; I remember once, when I was five, you caught me playing the piano with my feet. You told me no. You told me that's not the way you play piano. You made me apologise to the piano. And now I can play it properly. Maybe you don't remember, maybe you couldn't even hear me really, but I played to you last time I visited. I played the same pieces over and over again; because they are the only ones I know how to play; but I was playing them for you. I will still play for you... and I hope you're still listening.

 

I want to thank you for teaching me to appreciate the English language, and the effect it can have on one person. It was through you that I began to understand the beauty of words, and the poetry of speech.

 

I want to thank you for my mother; they say that one learns how to parent one's children from their own parents. Well, for that I thank you, because I could not have asked for a better mother, and it was you that brought her into the world. I want to thank you for my Aunt Susan too, and the family she created; some people don't even know their cousins, and most do not have the relationship that I have with my extended family. So thank you.

I find solace in the fact that you won't be hurting anymore; that you'll be able to be with Poppa again, and that you'll have your mind back. To those who have asked me if it was a shock to hear the news, I have simply said that, yes, I will miss you, but that you lived a full and beautiful life; you saw and did a great many things; you touched the hearts and minds of many people; it's your time. For some people, it isn't, and we are all lucky to have had you in our lives, and that you had a long one. But we are at the end of it, and we must say our goodbyes.

I love you, Mimi; I always will love you and think of you every time I play music or sing or write. I hope you're listening because I will always be playing for you.

Love Always,
Your Granddaughter,
Kayla.

2010: Condensed

It began in a cinema. Stuck in Texas on New Years 2010, I spent my evening watching Sherlock Holmes with my mother. Incredible as the movie was, it was a fairly depressing start to my year, with the knowledge that most of my friends were out partying. The rest of my year, it goes without saying, was considerably more eventful...

JANUARY

Like the nerd that I am, the highlight of this month was meeting Alex Day and Charlie McDonnell for the first time. Better known by their YouTube aliases of Nerimon and Charlieissocoollike, they are possibly two of the coolest geeks on the planet, and amongst other feats have invented the music genre "trock" (time lord rock, for Doctor Who fans), attempted to make it to the top of the UK music charts, dyed their hair ridiculous colours and have occasionally spent time just sitting there looking pretty. In January 2010, my best friend Pixie and I travelled up to Covent Garden to partake in the making of an original Alex-and-Charlie music video, and to meet the two in person. Charlie, known to be the better looking of the two, was bombarded with squealing fan girls, thrusting slips of paper at him in the hopes of getting his autograph. More of an Alex Day fan myself, I swooned over the adorable grin and witty banter of the man himself... And then returned to Pixie's afterwards for a pleasant girls' night in.

FEBRUARY

As Kerrang! magazine readers will know, every February, Relentless energy drink sponsors the magazine's UK gig tour. With All Time Low headlining, I immediately bought tickets for myself and friends. On the day, we all stood in the queue for five hours, and it was more than worth the wait. Having met a whole group of new friends, and sporting rather a lot of neon paint, we rocked out to the sounds of My Passion and Young Guns before screaming our heads off for the main acts. Losing my voice, my energy and perhaps my dignity was entirely worth it for the great bands and my new friends.

MARCH

If not the best part of my month, Retro-Physical was certainly the most interesting. The day after moving in with my dad, I attended one of the most out-of-hand parties the world has ever seen. Attempting to squeeze some two hundred people into a normal-sized house was risky enough, without adding alcohol, drugs and skimpy clothing to the mix. The first thing to be stolen, strangely enough, was the host's ten-year-old brother, and the next morning, still slightly inebriated, the host found almost all the food in his kitchen to be missing too...

APRIL

As most Jewish festivals go, in biblical times someone tried to kill us, in the end we won, the attempted murderer was hanged, and the only way to celebrate was with rather a lot of food and alcohol. Purim is no different, although for some reason in addition to getting very drunk and very fat, we must also look very silly while we do it. This year I trudged into school dressed as "The Runaway Bride," wearing a wedding-esque dress, trainers, and carrying a hitch-hiker's  knapsack. Amongst the best costumes were Pac-Man and Inky, a lego brick, a Facebook wall, the Seven Deadly Sins, and a she-male. Every year the science department groups together for their costumes, and this year did not disappoint, as all were dressed as fairy-tale characters, the hottest teacher of course dressed as Prince Charming...

MAY

I think it goes without saying that the best part of this month was my sixteenth birthday, which was one of the best weekends of my entire life. The day of my birthday was also the last day of school before study leave, after which my entire year group traipsed to Stonegrove Park for the annual year eleven egg-and-flower fight. Afterwards, Pixie and my other best friend Kermit trudged, absolutely covered in everything from mayonnaise to smashed plums, back to mine for dinner (after showering of course, although it took about a week for all the traces of the fight to disappear). The next day was spent chasing all of my friends around the town centre in a vicious game of  Assassins, and then returned to Stonegrove for a lovely picnic. Altogether, the best birthday since my fifth.

JUNE

To celebrate finishing my GCSE exams and his AS Levels, my friend JB and I went to see what I still describe as the best gig I have ever been to. My favourite band since I was ten, Green Day played the Wembley Stadium as part of their 21st Century Breakdown tour. Supported by Frank Turner and Joan Jett, it was one of the best moments of my year, if not my life, and I was mind-blowingly impresessed with the audience interaction and simply the way the band enjoyed themselves onstage. My love for this band goes so far as the fact that I nearly cried when Billie Joe Armstrong, sitting alone at the front of the stage with an acoustic guitar, said "Some of my favourite bands have split up... Some of my favourite musicians have died... But I swear to God, the only way I'm getting out of this band is when they roll me onstage in a fucking coffin."

JULY

It is difficult to choose one moment of the summer as my favourite, but one of the most memorable is definitely the Ben n' Jerry's Sundae Festival, where I paid a mere £15  for free ice cream all day, fairground rides, fun stalls and live music, with Scouting for Girls headlining! It was a fun day all in all, with crazy golf, mechanical pig racing, sack races and a helter skelter... Definitely in my book for next year!

AUGUST

Every two years, my mother's best friend Robbi hosts a family-and-friends reunion, something I always look forward to, as not only do I spend one week with people I love but hardly see, but it is hosted at the Rocky Mountain YMCA in Colorado, my favourite place in the world. One of the other groups staying at the YMCA was the East High Band Camp, and my love for all seven American Pie films had more than prepared me for such a situation... But the various band members had, unsurprisingly, heard it all before...

SEPTEMBER

I have taken part in every school play available, but I have never had the opportunity to broaden my horizons and audition for something more professional... until now. In the week before starting Sixth  Form, I attended a series of auditions for the MakeBelieve charity production of Fame! the musical. It was a long shot, but I made it through my first singing audition, and then, somehow, with my two left feet, got through the dance audition as well. My third audition got me through to the ensemble cast, and I was ecstatic at my own achievement. Unfortunately, the burden of school work coupled with the school play, and the fact that I need both a social life and enough sleep to function, dictated that I could not, in the end, take part.

OCTOBER

Need I say it? At the adult end of our teen years, Pixie and I were desperate to relive our childhood this Hallowe'en, with the only tradition we knew: trick-or-treating. So, with a group of our closest friends, we dressed up as various spooky creatures and characters, and ran around the streets of Finchley; cackling, scaring children, and begging strangers for candy.

NOVEMBER
Although it may not be evident for the English, there is a holiday between Hallowe'en and Christmas. My favourite of all Hallmark moments... Thanksgiving. As always, my mother and I hosted our annual Thanksgiving dinner, and invited various Americans, family friends, along with Pixie and Kermit. A night of laughs, stories, and enough food to feed an army (and their enemies). And what was I thankful for this year? Well... scroll up.

DECEMBER

Without a doubt, the best part of the last part of my year was Limmud Conference. In its thirtieth year, this festival of learning, spirit and mind-blowing atmosphere was better than it has ever been before. The sessions I attended ranged from a lecture on Evangelic Christian beliefs on Rapture, a panel debate on Israel vs. The Diaspora, and midnight jams with The Hoff. And when I wasn't in sessions, I was constantly meeting new people, playing and listening to music, drinking coffee, and generally having the time of my life.

NEW YEARS EVE...
My 2011 began standing in the middle of a suburban street in Borehamwood, staring up at the fireworks, and a stream of beautiful Chinese lanterns blinking in the darkness of the night. Surrounded by friends and drunk with the euphoria of New Years eve, I wondered what the following year would bring...