Friday Is the New Black.

Do you know what day it is? Have you checked your calendar? Does your watch have a day-of-the-week setting? Well, for those of you who have been in prison or living in a cave for the past seven days, it's Friday, Friday, Friday.

For the benefit of the lucky few whose ears have not yet been assaulted by what is now being widely referred to as "the worst thing that has ever happened to the music industry", click here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CD2LRROpph0. For a video with so many views, it seemed impossible to find for all the parodies, song analyses, reviews and interviews that followed.

Thirteen-year-old singer Rebecca Black released her first single, "Friday" on March 14th, which over the weekend went viral for all the wrong reasons. The comments on the YouTube video ranged from "horrible" to "I hope you cut yourself and die," whislt the rest of us just clap our hands over our ears and hope to God that sometime soon we'll get it out of our heads.

From the onset, the video makes a mockery of itself. Rebecca Black's alarm clock rings at 7am and she sits up in bed, her hair curly and wearing full makeup, and in case we didn't know what was going on, she sings in a monotone, "7am, wakin' up in the morning, gotta be fresh, gotta go downstairs." And all of a sudden she's fully clothed, standing downstairs with straight hair, and her monotone continutes: "Gotta have my bowl, gotta have cereal... tickin' on and on, everybody's rushing." That's funny, because when I'm late for school I always have time to straighten my hair and make a music video.

The song continues, and Rebecca proceeds to tell us that she's "gotta get down to the bus stop, gotta catch my bus." Wait. Hold it. You catch buses at bus stops? I always wondered what they were for... Well, don't leave us in suspense, Rebecca- do you catch your bus or don't you?

No, she doesn't. Her friends pull up in their silver convertible and are adamant that she get in the car. Yes. Because all thirteen-year-olds in the US can drive. And own convertibles. They're kickin' in the front seat. They're sitting in the back seat. Which seat can she take? CRISIS. Don't worry, Rebecca, we'll do the maths. If the car seats five and there are two people in the front, and two people in the back, we strongly advise that you sit in the only seat available.

She then proceeds into a chorus where the words "fun" and "partyin'" are used more times than Justin Beiber has ever used the word "baby".

Strangely enough, the young "star" is not fazed by the intense hatred and general negativity towards her. In fact, in an interview, she expressed her glee at the fact that "even if they don't like my song, it's still stuck in their heads," which may be the most spiteful comment I've ever heard from a thirteen year old. In fact, she has already planned to release an album as well as a new single, "LOL". I hope she knows that most will "lol" at her, not with her.